Why Ben is NOT a “bad boyfriend”

Even though the majority of the fandom seems to think so.

Fandom:

Ben:

Something I often hear is that “Ben is oblivious to romantic or romantic cues at all.” I wouldn’t say that this is necessarily either a good or bad thing, but at the same time I would argue that he’s not as oblivious as is believed. I think he just doesn’t jump to conclusions about other people and their emotions and create massive assumptions about them. He has common sense.

Ben 10: Omniverse episode “Hot Stretch”

This episode introduces Ester – a new female character and subsequently a new love interest for Ben. Ester immediately is shown to have a romantic interest in Ben, but this is probably due to the fact that Ben is famous. This means she would have known about him before they even met. Ben, on the other hand, has never seen her in his life. Throughout this episode they get acquainted but still are practically strangers. It’s very apparent that Ester is interested in Ben, but reasonably it’s only been a couple hours.

How can you not expect Ben to pull away from the awkward embrace from a girl he barely knows?

But even besides that, he is understanding enough to allow her a second chance to fix the situation rather than punish her for being involved with a crime that she didn’t know would go so far.

Compare this instance to a little while later, once Ben and Ester get more acquainted.

He is perfectly okay with being hugged, and doesn’t make any effort to push her away.

I’d like to argue that the majority of Ben’s love interests are emotionally manipulative and selfish. (Yes, I am turning the tables.) And this is why…

Ben 10: Omniverse epsiode “Fight at the Museum”

People often like to make fun of Ben for bringing Rook along on his supposed “date” with Ester…but logically is that really something to make fun of him for?

Ben was being considerate because he knew his friend would enjoy something like the museum tour, and knew that he would probably be bored on his own.

What I personally think is funny is how exactly one asks someone out on a date without making it abundantly clear you want it to be a date?

What the hell did she ask him? “hey Ben u wanna go to the musuem?” *wink wink nudge nudge* ???

To add to it, throughout the tour, Ben is constantly singled out and put on the spot by both Kai and Ester for being “stupid.” He has never once done this to either of them without being provoked.

What do you want from him?

Anyway, after Kai’s musuem exhibit tour (and after being bullied), Ben helps Kai move all her artifacts. Which brings me to my next point…

Ben being called an asshole and/or jerk. And why it’s wrong.

Have you ever wondered why Kai would even consider inviting Ben to a museum exhibit that she knows he wouldn’t be interested in? Because she knows that if someone were to try to steal an artifact, she would never be able to stop them herself.

She needed a security guard.

Who better to call then the guy who previously had a crush on you and also conveniently has superpowers that allow him to do pretty much anything?

Kai’s demeanour completely changes when she is about to ask him for this favour.

Ben couldn’t possibly win in this situation. No matter what he would or wouldn’t do, he would still be seen as a jerk/asshole.

These are literally his options:

1. Leave Kai to her own devices and be considered a jerk for not helping her.

2. Stay, try to protect her artifacts, but inevitably have the blame be thrown on him because Spanner made it look like the Orb was stolen by the thieves.

THERE. IS. NO. WAY. OUT.

Now, all that taken into consideration, if you were if his situation…would you not begin to resent the idea of romantic relationships?

I’ve heard the theory that Ben would eventually decide that romance is not for for him, or that he is not “good at romance.” Which then turns into the claim that he is “unshippable” and…”unlovable.”

But that, to me, is ridiculous. Love itself is not romantic.

“Love” generally, in the most simple way, just means…to care.

So here’s why I don’t believe he is a “bad boyfriend”…

Ben himself is quite the loving and compassionate person at heart. He is not a jerk/asshole and does not respond in that way unless he is provoked into doing so.

But doesn’t pretty much everybody do that?

The following examples are from the Omniverse comic “Parallel Paradox.” The way he defends Elena (even when she has made some bad moves herself) is very sweet.

This is also a constant thing in another Omniverse comic.

As long as nobody is starting fights with him and being immature, he is very considerate.

And the last example I would like to include is from a little earlier.

Ben 10: Ultimate Alien episode “The Transmogrification of Eunice.”

~~Aside from the fact that Ben’s love interest in this episode fell out of the sky naked (and is technically made from Gwen’s DNA)~~

Ben is very quick to protect her right to be alive.

Yes, his relationship with Julie is really suffering at this point in the show, but I really would like to know how exactly one is supposed to respond when your previous GF/BF clearly doesn’t seem to want to pursue the relationship any further. She showed very little desire to cooperate. So if you’re basically broken up with them, does that mean you’re not allowed to see other people? They’re not married.

(I almost want to theorize that because of what happened in the episode “Duped”, she felt like she needed to prove she is just as important as Ben. She joined a charity group in the episode “The Flame Keeper’s Circle.” She even argued that not everything is about Ben…which clearly shows her competitive attitude towards him from then on.)

I mean, put yourself in Eunice’s place. You’ve woken up in a strange place, don’t remember who you are, or where you came from. Even your own name is foggy.

You’ve met three people who helped “save you.” Two of which are pretty suspicious of your whereabouts. What obligation do they have to believe anything you say, especially with all the alien stuff they’re already encountered?

Would you not want to have someone who trusts you?

Defends you?

Reassures you that everything will be okay?

Aside from the romantic aspect of the plot, Ben was that person for Eunice.

That doesn’t make him perfect. But he always tries.

Ben even criticizes himself at one point (Ultimate Alien episode “Absolute Power” part 1) and says this:

“I let my fame go to my head. I’ve been as big a jerk these past few months as I ever was.”

The fact that Ben is able to look back at himself and evaluate how he might have come off to others shows that he really isn’t the huge jerk you all make him out to be. He voluntarily admits this.

In the same scene, he goes on to say this:

“I’ve had fun but I always told myself that when the situation got serious, so would I.”

And this just brings me back to my main point, Ben is always willing to fix things and make them right. He’s willing to listen to others. He always has good intentions in the end.

Because of these qualities, I don’t believe that he would be a bad boyfriend.

This comic is hilarious.

Ben is not a Sociopath (part 2)

(Part 1)

Because I really don’t understand why people are still somehow equating

to SOCIOPATHIC KILLERS SUCH AS

(Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, etc.)

…

Qualities of a Sociopath and why they supposedly apply to Ben Tennyson according to @emperorsfoot

I wasn’t aware that being attractive and having other people decide on their own that they are attracted to you (whether it be genuine or because of his status) makes you a sociopath. Ben never did anything to “charm” these girls into falling for him, aside from literally just being himself.

~~(also when was Kai ‘smitten’ with him?? like did I miss something)~~

(I also have this essay where I go in depth about how this harem is not quite his fault…here)

For this example, they have referred to the Alien Force episode “Pet Project.”

And to explain why this is wrong, I’d like to give credit to @b10rewatch as they pointed out a very important thing about Ben’s refusal to want to bring Julie along to save Ship in this post.

“In this case, when Ben tells Julie to stay behind, he’s right to do so!

Don’t believe me? Stop and think about it for a minute: Up until now, Julie’s entire experience with battling aliens is running away from them at the Pier. She goes on this rescue mission with no powers and no weapons. She is literally there to be in danger and then talk Ship down. Otherwise, she gets in the way and almost gets the main trio killed. Ben knows what the Knights are like, and he knows they’ll use her to handicap his team. He’s making a good call as a leader to keep not just a civilian safe but his teammates, too. Even in the car when he’s telling Julie that she has no idea what she’s dealing with, he’s still right! Julie knows Ship as a pet and a friend, but Ben knows what Ship is really capable of. Therefore he knows that whatever the Knights are doing to Ship likely isn’t going to go well for anyone, especially if they arrive too late to stop the Knights before they finish. Gwen and Kevin have the same amount of experience and know-how as Ben, fully understand the risks, know Julie is jumping into a situation where she’s likely to get everybody killed, and what do they do? They give Ben these looks as if he’s the one who has to give. Why? Any other person pulling that kind of bull, and they likely would’ve sided with Ben, assuming they weren’t the ones to say those things first. But apparently Julie is some sort of bizarre special case because…reasons.”

Julie is literally the one being unreasonable and manipulative in this case.

Ben: We’re not talking because?

Julie: Because I am upset with you, for being upset with me about Ship.

Ben: Julie, we aren’t talking about a poodle from the local pound. You don’t know what you’re dealing with.

Julie: Yes I do. I’m dealing with a person who is incredibly mean to poor little Ship, and who obviously does not trust me!

Ben: This isn’t about trust…

And to further prove how reliable he actually is…I recommend this post.

So basically it would have been smarter to let the Forever Knights cause whatever trouble they may because Julie’s tennis game is more important than DOING THE JOB EXPECTED OF YOU.

Credit to @b10rewatch for their very insightful and reasonable observation in this post:

This episode actually had a very good message underneath it all: “He who tries to please everybody pleases nobody.” Ben is trying to juggle being a public superhero, a boyfriend, and just plain old Ben. He makes a seriously bad call in this, but his heart was in the right place. The fact that he was trying to uphold his duties as a hero while still being able to spend time with Julie is admirable. The fact that he wanted to go do something for himself is also understandable since, if him just showing up to a tennis match gets him mobbed, he probably doesn’t get to do that as much any more. But, as I said before, he makes a really bad call in how he goes about achieving these goals. At least he seems to learn from it since he never tries to pull that stunt again though he probably would’ve been a literal one man army if he ever mastered that trick.

While I applaud Kevin for focusing on the real problem–the Forever Knights–I wanted to scream at Gwen the entire episode. She even admits in her argument with Kevin that the Knights are constantly trying to take over the world. She admits this. She knows they’re bad guys, has seen what they’re capable of since she was ten, and she thinks a tennis match is the priority?! Are you serious?!

On top of that, she jumps down Ben’s throat about his priorities from the very start of the episode. She calls him in the middle of a fight with the Knights and tells him to basically get his butt to the match right now instead of finishing off the Knights. He is doing exactly what he should be doing, but he’s somehow in trouble for it. Then when all he does is walk in and he gets mobbed, he’s in trouble for that, too, even though he wasn’t trying to get attention. You wanted him to show up at the match, Gwen. You likely know he gets mobbed on a regular basis. You are sending so many mixed signals it’s ridiculous.

I’m sorry, but Gwen made, on some levels, even worse calls than Ben did this episode. Ben’s trying to please everybody went horribly wrong, but given how every answer was apparently the wrong one, I have to give some of the blame to Gwen for pushing him to even attempt the cloning thing.

And how many times did Ben tell Kevin to stop? Do you really think that would have been enough to stop him on it’s own?

Once again, @b10rewatch, from this post.

“There’s no ‘we’. Not this time. I’m the one who put Kevin in the position where he had to absorb that energy; it’s my fault that he lost control. And everything he’s done since, all those people he’s hurt, all those people he’s going to hurt, that’s my fault, too.” – Ben

In the previous episode, Ben accused Gwen of thinking that Kevin going mad was his fault, and she’d agreed with that. Here we have Ben taking on that blame completely, telling her that if she wants to put it all on him, fine, he accepts it. She may hate him forever for it, but he’s still going to do their job.

This is what Ben means when he says he takes the blame for “all those people (Kevin’s) going to hurt” since allegedly “ULTIMATE KEVIN WAS NEVER A THREAT TO THE WHOLE UNIVERSE.”

And when Kevin regains his sanity and he and Ben talk, I like how there’s no hard feelings between them: Kevin understands what Ben was doing and why, even tells Ben that if the positions were reversed, he’d do the same thing…though he does call Ben a wuss for not finishing him off.

Yeah. Kevin literally said he would have also killed Ben if the roles were reversed. In fact, here’s the direct quote:

Kevin: If I were you, I wouldn’t have been such a wuss. If you ever lost it like I did, I would have taken you down right away.

Which he had already tried doing many times in the past, but who cares about that, right?

I wonder how Gwen would react to Kevin wanting to kill her cousin AGAIN.

Would she call him a sociopath?

And as for the “lack of remorse/shame” and “not caring” about Kevin…

He very clearly looks concerned.

Honestly, is there anybody in the world who makes a mistake once, learns their lesson, and then never makes the same mistake again?

If there is, I’d really like to know because I keep on hearing the same argument over and over again. It’s not valid.

And just as a side-note, in the end of “Absolute Power part 2″, Ben did something that you all like to constantly accuse him of never doing (aka never learning his lesson).

Max:

You don’t know the half of it. We expected heatblast and the others to get their powers back.

Julie:

But even the energy Aggregor stole went back where it belongs.

Ra’ad:

And returned us from oblivion. Thank you, Ben Tennyson.

Ben:

Wasn’t me this time. It was all of us.

The reason why I didn’t add some of those qualities to my initial list to debunk this idea is because I didn’t believe they applied to him. But clearly I’ve been proven wrong – people can very easily twist things so far that it can be completely misunderstood.

So, no, Ben is not a sociopath.

Because if he was then the Universe really would be in trouble.

“Ben 10 would be better WITHOUT Ben” (aka the lie)

Do you realize how disconnected everything in the Ben 10 Universe would be if Ben wasn’t involved?

Regardless of whether you love him or hate him, a lot of the story and plot lines for characters are directly connected to Ben’s involvement.

Did he or did he not find the Omnitrix (even if it was unintentionally and not specifically meant for him), and become the driving force behind Team 10 always fighting the good fight?

Ben is literally the reason Team 10 is so persistent in doing their job to protect the universe.

In the OS, Max was shown to be a retired plumber and seemed as though he no longer wanted to take part in the alien fighting business. He almost resented it.

“There is no family business. My hero days were over a long time ago.” – Max, “Truth”

vs a few years later

(Source)

To add to this, in the beginning, both Max and Gwen always discouraged Ben’s constant drive to do what he thought was right, even if it wasn’t safe. This is understandable as they probably wanted to make sure Ben was as safe as he could be doing that sort of thing at the age of 10. But their apprehension implies they would not have been as motivated to be a hero like Ben was.

…until Gwen realized how special the Omnitrix made Ben feel. She realized that, even though she may be smart and talented on her own, she lacked something that made her “special.”

Gwen: The world needs someone with the power of Lucky Girl.

Ben: Newsflash. I’m the only one with powers.

Gwen: Well, you can make that “one” a “two” now.

Ben: All that stuff you did it’s not you, it’s that charm.

Gwen: It’s not you either, it’s that watch.

Ben: You’re just jealous of me.

Gwen: Am not!

(Ben 10 episode “Lucky Girl”)

Regardless of the immaturity of this argument, it still proves that Ben being there and being so skilled with his alien watch is enough to make Gwen want to equate herself with him.

It motivates her. Which is how she eventually becomes so skilled with alien magic herself.

I’d argue Ben inspired both Max and Gwen to get more involved in fighting evil because he was always so persistent. They often act like this was a flaw in his character, but in the end his stubbornness is what motivates him to never give up.

Ben reached out to help Kevin and give him a chance at redemption not once, but twice.

It’s strange that people seem to blame Ben for Kevin being homeless and tormented as a child. Realistically, what could a ten year old possibly do to help? He had already offered Kevin a spot on his team back in Kevin 11.

“We can still be partners! We’d just be kicking butts for good instead of for ourselves. You could hang with us!” – Ben, “Kevin 11”

It’s obviously terrible what Kevin had gone through as a kid, but he was still mentally unstable at the time that Ben first met him. What else could ten year old Ben possibly do?

He tried. He always tried.

That is why it’s so important that Ben offered Kevin another chance at redemption when they met again as teenagers. Now Kevin’s state of mind was better/more controllable and Ben could actually do something to help Kevin’s situation as he was in a more authoritative position.

And in doing so, Kevin not only gained a best friend but also a great romantic relationship with Gwen. If it wasn’t for Ben, GWEVIN WOULD NOT EXIST!

Do you think Kevin would have given his life and sanity in UA if he didn’t feel like he owed Ben for all Ben’s done to save his life?

There is reason Kevin is a hero, and it’s because his best friend Ben inspired him to be that hero.

Kevin knew that Ben would have done anything to stop Aggregor, and in turn that inspires Kevin to do the same, in his own way with respect to his own abilities. Obviously it didn’t turn out the “heroic” way he probably intended, and since he’s been so in control of his abilities for a while Kevin probably didn’t think it would be an issue any more.

But still…there was a driving force behind his decision.

The relations between humans and aliens alike has greatly improved thanks to Ben’s innovative use of the Omnitrix.

So much that by Omniverse, humans and aliens literally live alongside each other.

(Everyone likes to poke fun at the Alien Force episode “Alone Together” but) Ben’s accepting attitude towards Reiny (aka the power of friendship) greatly altered the way even one Highbreed looked at a human. Which ultimately led to the Highbreed agreeing to reconcile with not only humans but all other alien species. Which they previously wanted to annihilate!

If Ben wasn’t the one wielding the Omnitrix, this might not be the case. Especially if no one was wielding it at all, then there would only be more conflict throughout the Galaxy and between alien races, especially their respective criminals.

Rook only has the opportunity to become a great plumber (as well as Magister) because he got the chance to work with Ben.

And subsequently if Ben hadn’t earned his title and status among the Plumbers, Rook might just have been another Plumber. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, but the experience he got to have while working along side Ben greatly adds to his skills and road to becoming Magister Rook Blonko.

Which is very important to Rook’s character development since his family back home now sees him as a hero.

His sister, Rook Shar, joined the plumber academy because of him and his brother, Rook Ben is on his way to do the same in the future. That is inspiring and revolutionary considering how old school and traditional the values are back on his home planet, Revonnah.

Ben is what connects all these stories together. He had a huge impact on all of these character’s lives.

Ben 10 just would not be the same without him.

Your thoughts on non-neurotypical Ben?

Well I definitely think that it’s possible for him to have any given mental condition considering the things he’s been through in his life. I mean, since childhood, Ben’s life has literally been just traumatizing event after traumatizing event. And I know that because Ben 10 is a fictional series as well as intended for a younger audience, this is often overlooked.

But just to reiterate, here is a collection of these types of instances in chronological order.

OH AND LET’S NOT FORGET THIS

And that’s not even counting every time this boy (even if he was in alien form) has been thrown around excessively and also through brick walls and into pavement. It’s…a lot. Especially for a ten year old.

But even so, here is his outlook on all of this:

“I’ve come too far. I’ve lost too much to be stopped now.” – Ben, Secret of the Omnitrix

It would not all be surprising to me if Ben had something like PTSD or any other condition in response to the events that make up his everyday life.

Which obviously continue into his teenage years, where “normal” teens would be learning, growing, developing, etc.

(Even just this scene in and of itself shows how much of himself Ben puts into his work – enough to literally PASS OUT.)

I mean he led a war at the age of fifteen. Even if he is armed with a powerful device…that’s insane.

On top of that (regardless of whether he was or not) he never once showed fear.

The entirety of Ultimate Alien was a series of traumatizing events, and then the changes that were randomly made to his life in Omniverse…whether he was hiding his true emotions or just coped in private, he adjusted to it all and handled everything extremely well.

So yes, I can see that being quite possible.

PSA to the lovely artists who like to draw BenxRook (or Ben and Rook, not necessarily romantically)

This photo is a good representation of their proportions in comparison to each other.

I’ve noticed that, in fan art, they are often drawn quite unproportionate to their canon portrayals. And by this I don’t mean if it’s done in a particular art style! I mean they are deliberately drawn in that way to make one of the characters (usually Ben) appear much more submissive than he actually is in canon.

(Personality-wise, he is not.)

I’d like to bring attention to the length and width of their limbs and torsos.

First of all, they are different species. Keep that in mind.

Rook is obviously taller than Ben because he is a Revonnahgander. That is also why his arms and legs are SO DAMN LONG COMPARED TO HIS TORSO, and the bone structure of his species is also probably different.

BUT!! the width of their limbs doesn’t seem to be drastically different!

It is questionable if Rook’s armor has anything to do with that. It almost makes me believe that in “No Honor Among Bros”, the substance Rook was under the control of had some sort of effect on his muscle mass to be more comparable to Fistrick.

So take what you will from this post, I thought it was a good reference.

idk what this is but it looks really cool

“Everyone always has the chance to change.”

One of the most beautiful things about Ben 10 is that it always pushed the idea that no matter how bad you get, you can always be better.

That everyone who falls down can get up again.

That the one mistake you made does not have to define you forever.

Something to consider

(before using insulting words to describe someone)

I’m sure everyone is aware that there are some of us in this fandom who don’t particularly love Ben as a character. And you know what? I’m not going to irrationally come after you and cut your head off for disliking him.

But…

I feel like if we just took a moment to see Ben through the eyes of someone like Max, for example, maybe you’d think twice about calling him that bad word that was on the tip of your tongue.

I say this because Max isn’t one to say that Ben is “perfect” and that he has done no wrong in his life. But that is because, no matter what Ben does or doesn’t do, Max has always and will always love Ben.

He knows Ben’s heart is good.

I think the point of watching a fictional character develop over their (fictional) lifetime is to grow and learn with them, almost like a parent/guardian (or grandparent in this case) watching over them through the good and bad. Knowing when they have done something that is wrong, but not immediately disowning them for it.

Because real people aren’t only always good or always bad. And maybe they’ll never become “perfect”, but they have already left their impact people who they are close to.

And those people will always love them.

I recognize that because Ben is still a fictional character, most people would claim that it really makes no difference whether he is loved or not at this point.

But I believe that having respect for others, fictional or not, would make a difference because for the most part, Ben respects others enough to treat them with the dignity that has been earned.

omg his hair is so beautiful