Why Ben is NOT a “bad boyfriend”

Even though the majority of the fandom seems to think so.

Fandom: 

Ben: 

Something I often hear is that “Ben is oblivious to romantic or romantic cues at all.” I wouldn’t say that this is necessarily either a good or bad thing, but at the same time I would argue that he’s not as oblivious as is believed. I think he just doesn’t jump to conclusions about other people and their emotions and create massive assumptions about them. He has common sense.

Ben 10: Omniverse episode “Hot Stretch”

This episode introduces Ester – a new female character and subsequently a new love interest for Ben. Ester immediately is shown to have a romantic interest in Ben, but this is probably due to the fact that Ben is famous. This means she would have known about him before they even met. Ben, on the other hand, has never seen her in his life. Throughout this episode they get acquainted but still are practically strangers. It’s very apparent that Ester is interested in Ben, but reasonably it’s only been a couple hours. 

How can you not expect Ben to pull away from the awkward embrace from a girl he barely knows?

But even besides that, he is understanding enough to allow her a second chance to fix the situation rather than punish her for being involved with a crime that she didn’t know would go so far.

Compare this instance to a little while later, once Ben and Ester get more acquainted. 

He is perfectly okay with being hugged, and doesn’t make any effort to push her away. 

I’d like to argue that the majority of Ben’s love interests are emotionally manipulative and selfish. (Yes, I am turning the tables.) And this is why…

Ben 10: Omniverse epsiode “Fight at the Museum”

People often like to make fun of Ben for bringing Rook along on his supposed “date” with Ester…but logically is that really something to make fun of him for? 

Ben was being considerate because he knew his friend would enjoy something like the museum tour, and knew that he would probably be bored on his own. 

What I personally think is funny is how exactly one asks someone out on a date without making it abundantly clear you want it to be a date? 

What the hell did she ask him? “hey Ben u wanna go to the musuem?” *wink wink nudge nudge* ???

To add to it, throughout the tour, Ben is constantly singled out and put on the spot by both Kai and Ester for being “stupid.” He has never once done this to either of them without being provoked. 

What do you want from him? 

Anyway, after Kai’s musuem exhibit tour (and after being bullied), Ben helps Kai move all her artifacts. Which brings me to my next point…

Ben being called an asshole and/or jerk. And why it’s wrong. 

Have you ever wondered why Kai would even consider inviting Ben to a museum exhibit that she knows he wouldn’t be interested in? Because she knows that if someone were to try to steal an artifact, she would never be able to stop them herself.

She needed a security guard. 

Who better to call then the guy who previously had a crush on you and also conveniently has superpowers that allow him to do pretty much anything? 

Kai’s demeanour completely changes when she is about to ask him for this favour. 

Ben couldn’t possibly win in this situation. No matter what he would or wouldn’t do, he would still be seen as a jerk/asshole. 

These are literally his options:

1. Leave Kai to her own devices and be considered a jerk for not helping her.

or

2. Stay, try to protect her artifacts, but inevitably have the blame be thrown on him because Spanner made it look like the Orb was stolen by the thieves. 

THERE. IS. NO. WAY. OUT.

Now, all that taken into consideration, if you were if his situation…would you not begin to resent the idea of romantic relationships? 

I’ve heard the theory that Ben would eventually decide that romance is not for for him, or that he is not “good at romance.” Which then turns into the claim that he is “unshippable” and…”unlovable.” 

But that, to me, is ridiculous. Love itself is not romantic. 

“Love” generally, in the most simple way, just means…to care. 

So here’s why I don’t believe he is a “bad boyfriend”…

Ben himself is quite the loving and compassionate person at heart. He is not a jerk/asshole and does not respond in that way unless he is provoked into doing so. 

But doesn’t pretty much everybody do that?

The following examples are from the Omniverse comic “Parallel Paradox.” The way he defends Elena (even when she has made some bad moves herself) is very sweet. 

This is also a constant thing in another Omniverse comic. 

As long as nobody is starting fights with him and being immature, he is very considerate. 

And the last example I would like to include is from a little earlier.

Ben 10: Ultimate Alien episode “The Transmogrification of Eunice.”

Aside from the fact that Ben’s love interest in this episode fell out of the sky naked (and is technically made from Gwen’s DNA)

Ben is very quick to protect her right to be alive.

Yes, his relationship with Julie is really suffering at this point in the show, but I really would like to know how exactly one is supposed to respond when your previous GF/BF clearly doesn’t seem to want to pursue the relationship any further. She showed very little desire to cooperate. So if you’re basically broken up with them, does that mean you’re not allowed to see other people? They’re not married.

(I almost want to theorize that because of what happened in the episode “Duped”, she felt like she needed to prove she is just as important as Ben. She joined a charity group in the episode “The Flame Keeper’s Circle.” She even argued that not everything is about Ben…which clearly shows her competitive attitude towards him from then on.)

I mean, put yourself in Eunice’s place. You’ve woken up in a strange place, don’t remember who you are, or where you came from. Even your own name is foggy. 

You’ve met three people who helped “save you.” Two of which are pretty suspicious of your whereabouts. What obligation do they have to believe anything you say, especially with all the alien stuff they’re already encountered? 

Would you not want to have someone who trusts you? 

Defends you?

Reassures you that everything will be okay? 

Aside from the romantic aspect of the plot, Ben was that person for Eunice.

That doesn’t make him perfect. But he always tries. 

Ben even criticizes himself at one point (Ultimate Alien episode “Absolute Power” part 1) and says this:

“I let my fame go to my head. I’ve been as big a jerk these past few months as I ever was.” 

The fact that Ben is able to look back at himself and evaluate how he might have come off to others shows that he really isn’t the huge jerk you all make him out to be. He voluntarily admits this.

In the same scene, he goes on to say this:

“I’ve had fun but I always told myself that when the situation got serious, so would I.”

And this just brings me back to my main point, Ben is always willing to fix things and make them right. He’s willing to listen to others. He always has good intentions in the end.

Because of these qualities, I don’t believe that he would be a bad boyfriend.